Other archived years:
Subject: Thank you for showing me Earth Square
Thank you for showing me the truth. The society have been hiding it from me all the time. So today I went to my work to spread the word. But everyone just laughed at me. And after putting up posters all over the walls and squaredancing in the cafeteria I got kicked. I just woundered, will they go to hell?
[Editor's note: Of course they'll go to Hell, but you knew that already, didn't you? If your current tricks for spreading the Word aren't working, try a different approach. Your workplace probably has rules about what kinds of posters you're allowed to put on the walls, but public bulletin boards have no such restrictions. Furthermore, many city governments and school boards have public meetings where everyone is permitted to speak their mind. Just getting the Truth about the square shape of the Earth out there to be heard is the most important first step!]
The earth always was square up to about 1500.
Upper left triangle is Europe
Upper right triangle is Asia and China
Lower left triangle is Africa
And lower right triangle is India
Put them together and you’re square.
4 pillars is more unusual as they would be best placed ON the earth at each of
the 4 corners
The planet we live on is round and the Egyptians were drawing that as they traced the shape of the Moon Sun etc
I think those Old Testamenters were so deeply territorial and political that they called the EARTH a square because of the bits you could actually build on and conquer. So it is reasonable to call it square
Until you find the Americas and sail right round it.
Even then no one seems to dare to call it a PLANET until the 20th century. Planet is a new word for our spherical world. But I am pleased to see you don’t admit that term at all.
I love your refusal to confront anything other than the 15th century definition of the territory of the 4 continents before the Americas.
I think you could also usefully get rid of Physics by the Earth Air Fire and Water periodic table. I prefer to toast my bread on an open fire because electric toasters are non Biblical and of the Devil as you know
Roger , just pack up and go home peacefully. You just have a semantic confusion which you should have had sorted by the age of 10.
[Editor's note: The Americas fit perfectly well into the square Earth. They would have to — without the Americas, we wouldn't have Americans, who are God's chosen people.]
Subject: Square Earth
The earth is a series of tubes, have you even read L. Ron Hubbard's
Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health ?
Daniel L. Noye, Ph. D.
Go back to your cave.
Daniel L. Noye, Ph. D.
[Editor's note: Dianetics, and the Church of Scientology that grew up around it, is a cult. It was formed by a charismatic leader and took on life of its own even after its leader's death. It now extorts money out of its members, while going door-to-door looking for new recruits to indoctrinate. This is completely different from Christianity.]
I am gravely concerned for my misguided friend BIG IRON BILL. In two fortnights my friend and his family will take a transcontinental flight to the wondrous land of Australia. In doing so, I am deeply worried that he may indeed fall off the edge of the earth into the great abyss. How can I possibly persuade this fine young lad to pick a more desirable vacation destination, further from the abysmal edges of death? This boy's reasoning makes my arguments futile as he denounces the word of the lord. Alas, I must rest as I have pondered this topic for the past 48 hours.
[Editor's note: You seem to have a misunderstanding of the arrangement of the continents on the Earth's surface. All continents are on the same ("upper") side of the Earth. The airline pilots will have to make the sharp 90-degree turns I've discussed in the Society's main page, but those devil-worshippers have been doing that for so long now that it's become old hat for them. I'm sure your friend is safe.]
I've got a question. how can you say that airplane pilots are in league with the devil, that the earth is flat, and that all scientists that study space and earth are complete liers? I also have a challenge. youve heard of columbus. sail to the end of the earth... you'll never find it, i guarantee it.
P.S. im a christian. i believe in God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ.. and the bible actually states that the world is round. so please dont call me a heathan bound for the burning depths of hell. its not very encouraging in my walk with God.
[Editor's note: The Bible actually states that the world is round? Chapter and verse, please.
Oh, and you're a heathen bound for the burning depths of Hell.]
Subject: Square Earth
How can you put a dome on a square? If you take the bible literally, you'd have to be an idiot to believe it all.
Also, you write "Despite all the evidence arrayed against [Bush], he still
continues to insist that the Earth is round," with unnecessary
emphasis on the word "continues." You also claim that taking pictures of
the edges of the world would send you to your hell for requiring evidence of
God's word. You've contradicted yourself, just as the bible contradicts
Here's a tip: God wants you to be good to other people. He wants you to believe he exists and to be good to other people. A kind, helpful atheist is more likely to get into heaven than you. There's no other reason to follow the teachings. Whether or not you believe the world is square doesn't make any difference. The only thing that matters is your actions; helping your fellow man. That other stuff doesn't matter because it is (or should be) in your head. Why should God care if we believe in his choosing America (which is stupid, nothing more, nothing less), his square earth, or any of that? It doesn't make a difference to any other human unless you want it to, and then you're just being a dick. If God's gonna send people to Hell for believing in a logically spherical earth, he might have to make another Hell to fit everyone. Another thing, if believing what we're told about earth being spherical is questioning God's Word and thus evil, why would you explain why the earth is a square on your website? Aren't you saying "why?" is the evil question? You might as well just say "Some guys which, I'm told, heard this from God said so," or (likely as accurate), "Magic."
I, actually, don't believe in any god or meaning, but the only purposes for
religion have been moral guidance and answers to things we didn't know.
We know a lot of things, now, and Christianity refuses to accept them,
sometimes. You're taking this to an extreme that is nothing but
hilarious, and at your expense.
Follow the morals. Be 'good' to your fellow man, and die knowing you'll go to heaven.
[Editor's note: My car has a square roof, yet the lamp in the center of this roof is called a "dome" light. Similarly, the Vault of Heaven covering the Earth is square at its lower edges, where it meets the square edges of the Earth.]
Subject: Square Earth
I read your article, it is so nice to know people think the same way I
do. If you have any further philosophies I would love to hear them.
[Editor's note: Doing whatever it takes to get into Heaven is the only philosophy I need.]
Your site is truly Illuminating. Thanks for so clearly showing the
true nature of the Bible. Especially your explanations on the mailbag page.
I'm a believer.
Hi, me again, your brilliance dazzled me a bit.
I was going to comment that your knowledge of the Bible
is quite good. Have you studied it a lot or do you have
an electronic concordance which lets you locate passages
[Editor's note: Yes, and yes.]
Subject: Square Earth
How is it possible for the Earth to be round, if traveling by boat, there is no sharp 90 degree turn?
[Editor's note: Are you sure? A cruise ship moves slowly enough that it could start its 90-degree turn several minutes in advance. Without any visual reference points on the open ocean, you'd never notice.
This does bring up the alarming possibility, though, that trans-oceanic ship captains are in league with the Devil, just like airline pilots are.]
I am from Holland so excuse me for the bad English.
That's just what someone who was in league with the devil would say!
After a mail from a pilot.
This is like burn witches! As someone say nothing everybody say: ‘she is a witch!’ As someone say: ‘I am not a witch!’ everybody say: ‘you lie!!! We burn you to hell!!!’ so anytime they burn someone.
I think God don’t send me to hell when I am believe the world is round.
And also, why must it be God? Why not Allah, or someone else, or, maybe,
there is no god.
As you always e-mail back with the answer:
That's just what someone who was in league with the devil would say!
Can I also start a society.
I mean you must not take the bible literally! And that 4 corners of the world:
[ picture of a circle divided into 4 quadrants, circumscribed inside a square ]
[Editor's note: I'm glad you understand the similarity between the denials of airline pilots and the denials of witches. Satan makes them both tell lies equally; the only difference is, we haven't rooted out the airline pilots. Yet.]
Subject: oh dear
on february 2, 2007, there was an e-mail that stated
"well fyi, theres prof that he earth is round, and theres no prof that any of the bible is true"
to which you replied:
"[Editor's note: No proof that any of the Bible is true?! Revelation 19:9 says "These are the true words of God." If that isn't proof that the Bible is true, I don't know what is!]"Well, just to let you know, just because something or someone says, or writes that, something is true, it doesn't mean it is. I could say, or write, that Oprah Winfrey is President, but it doesn't make it true, now does it? What true, scientific evidence do you have that the Bible is true, or that Jesus even existed? Have you found the cloth that has his face imprint on it?
[Editor's note: Well, of course, if you wrote something, that wouldn't automatically make it true — because you're not the Bible! I mean, duh!]
I just found your site, and mean no disrespect when I ask, is this for real? I can't tell whether I should read this as satirical way to make fun of Christians through scripture twisting, or if there really is a group that believes this. So, I guess my question is, are you serious?
[Editor's note: Is the International Square Earth Society for real?! Is the Pope a hellbound Mary-worshipping Catholic?]
Subject: square earth model
You have enlightened me.
I was an atheist before I saw this webpage, and all ideas about evilusion left me. Thank you, THANK YOU! I have bought a brand new bible the other day and I just started reading it. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever read in my life.
I also want to know what you think about our fellow creationists who also misunderstand that the earth is flat and square, such as the leaders of the creationist museum and Kent Hovind. It is so sad to know that they will all go to hell for not believing that the earth is flat, what should we do?
i will post a link to the model here once i finish it
[Editor's note: It always warms the cockles of my heart to see another wayward sheep brought home to the flock! But remember: We don't know how many pillars there are under the Earth, and it would be presumptive to assume there are four of them. The good news is, while most mainstream Creationists probably think the Earth is round, they are not wedded to the idea, and we may yet be able to convince them of The Truth!]
Subject: I think the world is spherical, help.
HA! YOU FAG! I am a general with the National Association of Space and Aeronautics (NASA) I have been in space, for 3 months, researching the earths visual tectonic (Land mass) movements, and from outer space, the earth looks like a big ball, so please, for the love of all that is logical, explain to me how the earth could possibly be a quadrilateral, when I am looking at a ball, right now. And if you say some crazy bat shit-insane stuff about how, "Oh! it is in the Bible!" Then I will have to go ape shit, and delete your website from the Internet, I CAN do that. Satan loves you! <a swastika character appears at this point, with a link to an Encyclopedia Dramatica page>
[Editor's note: Oh! It is in the Bible.]
Subject: contradicting words
On your home page, one of the questions is:
""What about Isaiah 40:22?" Isaiah, chapter 40, verse 22 reads (in
the NIV translation):
"He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are
like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them
out like a tent to live in."
Does this mean the Earth is circular? Not at all. If it were
circular, Job's mention of the ends of the Earth would be meaningless.
The word translated as "circle" in this verse is the Hebrew "Chuwg", which can
mean circle, but can also mean circuit or compass. When occurring by
itself, this word can also mean the vault of the heavens. This verse
probably refers to the fact that God sits enthroned above the vault of the
heavens, which encompasses the whole Earth. "
This is clearly not taking the Bible completely literally, because if it was, that would mean the earth is circular, maybe even SPHERICAL(which it is by the way).
Yet in an earlier question you stated : "if you do not accept every word in the bible as literally true, you are not really accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and are doomed to burn in Hell for all eternity. God won't let any half-assed believers into heaven."
By not accepting Isaiah 40:22 as literally true, YOU are not really accepting Jesus Christ. You just majorly contradicted yourself. HA
[Editor's note: What part of "yashab chuwg 'erets yashab chagab" don't you understand?!]
Your website and particularly you Square Earth page has given me hours of amusement. I am sure that this is not a new idea, but have you thought of approaching a publisher with this page as a book idea? Certainly, I am sure that, in the UK, it would be a best seller.
[Editor's note: What, you mean like "Left Behind: On the Square Earth"? No, sir. I would never cheapen the Revealed Truth of the One True Shape of the Earth by writing some trashy novel about it. What difference would it make to get the Word out to more people, if they thought it was some fictional parody?]
Exactly right - the earth is square and it rests on an elephant which stands on the back of a giant tortoise. The Hindu knows this.
If some smart-aleck asks: What is the tortoise standing on?; you just tell him that it's turtles all the way down.
[Editor's note: The Hindu is also going to roast in hell, if you remember. 1 Samuel 2:8 clearly states that the Earth rests upon pillars, not tortoises, and believing anything else will shut you off from the gates of Heaven faster than you can say "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the Devil and his angels"!]
Subject: Your site is interesting!
Hi Roger. I'm assuming your name is Roger. But hey, I always assumed the Earth was a sphere, too. I found your arguement interesting. I've always felt that I couldn't argue against the verses that used the word "circle," but when you clued me in on the translation problems, that changed everything. Well, maybe not, but it certainly did catch my attention. Christains use a similar argument regarding the word "corner" and how it is mistranslated. They say that it actually means "extremity." Anywho, thanks for taking the time to study it out and post your findings on the web. Take care.
[Editor's note: I'm sure these "Christains" [sic] you mention will make such harebrained arguments. This is the divine, inerrant Word of God we're talking about here, not some ancient scrawlings from a bunch of Bronze Age nomadic goat herders! The word translated as "corners" is the Greek "gonia", which always means corner(s) or angle(s).]
Great! One of the best comedy sites on the web! Congratulations.
[Editor's note: I'll admit, Jesus had quite the sense of humor at times. Like in Matthew 16:18, where He says "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church." Get it? Rock? Peter? As in, Petrus? HAR! But despite such knee-slappers, He was deathly serious when He said that not one jot or tittle of the Testaments shall pass until all has been fulfilled. My mission is to ensure that this particular jot (or is it a tittle?), concerning the True Shape of the Earth, doesn't fly under the believers' radar.]
Subject: THE EARTH BE FLAT
OMG I FELL OFF THE EARTH YESTERDAY <surprised emoticon>
BUT I SAVED MYSELF AND DIDNT FALL
PS: Your Beliefs Are Insane, The World Is Round But How Could You Know That, You Could Find Corners In A Dome Anyway! I Can't Believe People Like You Are Out There And I Don't See Why You Worship A Simple Book! The Bible Is Crap, I'm Not Satanic, I Just Don't Believe In God And I Certainly Don't Believe In A Flat Or Square Earth, Because I Have Brains!
[Editor's note: If you don't believe in God, then why did you start this missive off with "OMG"? I know what the G stands for in that particular abbreviation. It's like the church leaders say: Everybody believes in God, the so-called non-believers just hate Him because He won't let them believe whatever they want. Whether they admit it to themselves or not!]
Subject: thinking inside the square
I am most intrigued by your theory concerning the shape of the earth. Clearly
you have studied the Bible in detail, and you do indeed have most convincing
arguments. If I may be as bold as to suggest an even more detailed analasys as
to the shape of the earth, let me remind you that God favours certain
mathematical shapes above others. He seems to like order in his work, I must
say. I suppose his workload demands a certain order.
Now the most obvious shape of this "diamond" would be quadratical. It would not be difficult for Him to keep track of such a shape. However, He is somewhat more incidious than that. Note how impossible circular mathematics would be without the letter PI. Seeing as the Earth as a circular shape is already ruled out, I believe the mathematical letter PHI would be most probable. In general referred to as "the divine interciscion", it is the formula of His choice when He designs beauty. A most estetical entity indeed, PHI:1, or rather 1.618:1, God would probably use these dimensions in his creation of Earth, as well as in every creation thereon. I also believe He would have this diamondshaped Earth pointing equally upwards and downwards, towards Heavens in the North, and Hell to the south. therefore the sides of our Earth must be of equal lenght, and the vertical diagonal (if I may use that term), must be 1.618 times the lenght of the horisontal diagonal.
[Editor's note: Ancient Hebrew lacked fractions and decimals. (Hence the popular confusion over the value of pi in 1 Kings 7:23.) God would not have made a fractionless, decimalless language into the language of His Chosen People, and the language in which He chose to reveal His Sacred Truths, if His creation could not have been described with such a language. Therefore, we must conclude that any ratios that occur in the shape of the Earth are composed entirely of integers, e.g. 1:1, 1:2, 2:1, etc. — not 1.618:1.
Besides, if North were pointing up and South were pointing down, we'd all be living on a vertical cliff face!
Before I had a chance to make the above comment, this poster was gracious enough to send a second message:]
I resently mailed you, adding a few pointers as to how one may narrow down the
possible shapes of the earth furthermore. I have also noted your mailbag has
not been upgraded the past six months. I have duly noted you're a biblical man,
however I also consider you a fellow human-being, who would save the stray
sheep if only he could. Therefore, I suggest you present the utterly
inconvertible with secret option number three:
A heathen may in fact avoid the fiery pits of Hell, merely by converting to a religion which does not share the christian God. (i.e. jewism, christianity, and islam.)
If you consider the first commandment, which forbids you to worship other gods, it becomes apparent that other gods do in fact exist. Had they not, the first commandment would explain how these other gods are non-existent, instead of pointing out that a true beliver of the christian God -at that point the jewish God since Christ was not yet born- should worship this god alone.
This taken into consideration, one might be able to save the inconvertible from the eternal agonies of Lucifer's realm, though I am aware that there will be a conflict on your behalf.
Saving the inconvertible heathens by suggesting they break one of God's commandments,
could be troublesome for a true believer.
However, a true believer should also be "the good samaritan", when it comes to his fellow man. And Man's free will, both yours and the flock's, should be based on any information accessable. Though it may ache your heart to give your fellow man an option, remember that this is exactly what God did in honouring us with the ability to chose for ourselves. Nor can I see that presenting the heathens with a secondary solution goes against the scripture in any way, though I may not have as thorough experience in bible-studies as an expert such as yourself.
On behalf of the non-believers, I beg you: Be the good samaritan in this matter.
Give those who will be turned away at the Pearly Gates, a chance to spend eternity elsewhere than the christian alternative.
[Editor's note: Sorry, hon. All those other "gods" are actually Satan in disguise. The Word of God is clear: it's His way, or the Hellway. Hey, I don't make the rules here, the Man Upstairs does.
And a third message arrived from this same poster! How generous!]
Subject: Bevare of the Dutch
P.S. (As there will be some entries from this adress)
April 3. 2008, a Dutch person left severe critizisms in your mailbag, comparing you to a witch-hunter and incinuating homicidal tendencies in your line of thought.
A Dutchman. From Holland. The Netherlands.
A man from the Netherlands provoked you into claiming he would burn in hell.
I think not.
Also bevare of Australians, who seem quite proud to stem from "Down Under", as they like to say.
And by and by, God's favourite nation is no doubt England. "Long live our noble queen?" she's a hundred if she's a day!!
[Editor's note: England's song is "God Save the Queen." If England really were God's favorite nation, God would have already saved its queen bf now.]
I don't care if you're serious about that "Flat Earth" thing or not, I just found it, it's hilarious and you're awesome for making it.
[Editor's note: You won't think it's so "hilarious" when you're roasting on a slow-turning spit over the everlasting fires of Hell, little missy!]
Square Earth....Seriously? That's pretty screwed up, if I do say so myself.
The Hellbound sinner's famous last words: "I did it my way".
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it, "shake well before using." That is what God has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
[Editor's note: It sounds like you might need a little of that "shaking" yourself, if you honestly think that God's True Shape of the Earth is "pretty screwed up." Hopefully you'll see the truth of your second sentence, as it applies to you (if you refuse to accept the Revealed Truth of a Square Earth), before it's too late!]
Hi, let me introduce myself as a spherical earth believing democratic catholic. Anyway, i was looking at your "proofs" and I couldn't help but realize a sphere fits all of those catagories.
First off, "four corners" means any 4 corners, not ONLY four. Since a corner is just a point where two sides meet, and a sphere techincally has infinite sides, a sphere has well, infinite corners. Take your pick of any four. Or if you want to get picky, the tip of any mountain is techinically a corner as well.
Next, according to einstien and many other well respected scientists, space must be considered the same as time or, space-time. So, "the ends of the earth" could mean literally "the end of the world". Also, a sphere has infinite ends as mentioned above.
Like someone mentioned, a sphere can also be divided into four equal corners with each one being a seperate point in the compass. Theres the north pole, the south pole, and you can pick any two points on the equator to be the east and west poles. Lastly, since baseball is so important (even though i think it sucks and is boring as hell) remind me again, what shape the actual baseball is?
So i'm waiting for your reply to that. Oh yeah, and btw, what type of christian are you again? Thanks for your time.
[Editor's note: Revelation 7:1 doesn't say the four angels were standing at four corners of the Earth, it says the four angels were standing at THE four corners of the Earth. If the Earth had more than four corners, that "the" wouldn't have been there.]
The next year's mailbag archive: 2009
Got a problem with any of this? Want to see your words of praise appear alongside those above? Then contact me at: email@example.com and I will hearken.
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